MOJO

Reminiscing the puberty stage of mine

never fails to leave me chuckle.

From the terrible acne breakouts

to

teenage love affairs

and to

the lofty dreams which never seemed to materialise (as usual).

I could fondly remember a moment when

i began to give my mojo the first "test-drive".

People say sharing is caring

but this "sharing session" will only leave me,

well most probably, being a laughing stock.

haha.

My parents brought me to a typical void-deck malay wedding.

It was one of those cheesy weddings,

with plenty of bad singing and cheap door gifts.

Not exactly equinox cuisine,

but hey,

it was free.

Well, technically.

Only one tiny weeny problem :

the waitress chick was hot(based on a 14 year old view).

Imagine sitting with your parents,

making small talk about how tasteless the kuehs are

and being completely and thoroughly

distracted by the waitress.

I was dieing!

The sudden potent rush began to take over.

She had this exotic look.

She wore a sparkly silver tiara headband thing that was ghetto hawt.

The slightly baggy baju kurung that could only be hiding a slender yummy figure.

A fashionista in disguise.

I can’t tell how old women are back then.

But I’m pretty sure this waitress was in her teens.

Too young for a relationship with me,

I suspect.

But not too young for me to flirt with.

*wagbrow*

Hot waitress and I immediately shared heavy eye contact.

I love when women hold my gaze.

One,

it shows confidence.

Two,

a willingness to tangle.

The eyes reveal a lot.

The problem is,

I wasn’t in a position to act immediately.

If my parents weren’t there,

I would have chatted her right up.

But I don’t feel comfortable approaching a lady with

my mom and dad watching me.

Too bad i couldn't send a mental telepathy or SOMETHING.

After a while,

hot waitress just quit flirting.

I was just another pimply teenager who

was unwillingly accompanying his parents to a wedding.

She could have lost interest for many reasons.

Maybe I was too young.

Maybe I didn’t act quickly enough.

Maybe I was supposed to diss my mom and

do the sweet talk pick up lines approach thing.

haha

Who knew ?

I didn’t give up.

When my parents headed back to the car,

I excused myself to the restroom to avoid an immediate exit.

After,

I headed back to see what was what with hot waitress.

She was there.

She saw me.

She gave no flirtatious smile or wink.

Just a curious look like i was an extra terrestrial being.

Perhaps wondering why I was still poking around.

The thing is,

I had a bit of the once-bitten,

twice-shy in me from a embarrasing past experience.

I smiled and turned and left.

If you don’t strike when the iron is hot,

it’s mighty hard to make a dent when things cool.

Rest assured,

i have taken steps to rise from the mojo-less ashes.

But i seriously wonder,

do i have one in the first place..

hmmmm....

_____________________________________________________________________________________

Now I may have faith to make mountains fall
But if I lack love then I am nothin' at all
I can give away everything I possess
But left without love then I have no happiness
-
I know I'm imperfect
and not without sin
But now that I'm older all childish things end
and tell them
-
Tell them I need them
Tell them I love them
And it'll be alright

- Lauryn Hill-

Finding success in failure

Finding success in failure


Once again,

another year is coming to an end.

Simply because time just improve on its pace and

the world just change so rapidly.

So many things occured but

it feels like things are pretty much the same.

2008 is an eventful year

as couples are rushing to get married

and the numbers just continue to escalate.

That also mean divorce rate has drastically inclined.

Divorce is the culmination of a failed marriage.

Right ?

But is that a true failure ?

If they grew from the experience,

it’s evolution.

If being married forced that change,

then maybe the marriage served its purpose and

it’s a success.

People fall in love for the darndest reasons,

but common wisdom suggests opposites attract.

You get with someone because they have strengths to balance your weaknesses.

Over time,

you might gain those strengths for yourself and

start resenting those very things in your partner.

A friend of mine married a woman who was compassionate beyond belief.

He loved her for that.

She showed him a way of life he didn’t really know.

But as he learned to give more from his heart,

he started to feel emotionally crowded in her presence.

The amount of her caring was always bigger than his,

and it didn’t feel there was enough space for his compassion to grow.

If he made a mistake,

she was quick to show him how to be selfless.

When they split up,

he was forced to nurture a giving heart on his own.

He made mistakes,

but he learned from them.

That’s evolution.

The relationship helped him blossom and give more compassionately.

Now,

that’s success.

_____________________________________________________________________________________


If you think divorce is hurtful,

nothing can be more hurtful to the paper-thinned ego than this



but who's to blame ?

The hopeful guy mounting the pressure

or

the pressure mounted girl dashing any ray of hope ?

I can't decide

Ways to this (his) simple, humble heart

Ways to this (his) simple, humble heart



There's a divinity that shapes our lives.

The importance/elegance of simplicity has never failed to dissipate from my senses.

A way to a man's heart is undefine as man is intricately formed but yet, so simple.

As for me,

what i'm going to reveal is strictly confidential and

let's keep things between you (the world) and i.

hush, k.

The kind of music he finds eden listening to

1) Lauryn Hill
2) India Arie
3) Alicia keys

Their rhymes are often about their capabilities,

their confidence and what they expect from the world,

while their songs admit to heartache and vulnerability,

determined to draw lessons from them.

Although their voices have a hoarse, raspy edge,

possibly from the strain of touring,

they did not spare themselves.

They used the rasp for emphasis like a classic soul singer or a preacher,

as one more way to telegraph emotion.

Often they seized a song as an incantation.

Repeating it,

pushing it lower and

higher,

switching from ache to defiance barrage of syllables.

Fervent and insistent

yet so soulful and gentle to the heart.


The food he enjoys popping into his mouth

Now now amir..i know what are you thinking and

please wipe that cheeky smile of your face NOW !

haha

1) Oranges
2) Apricots
3) Raisins
4) Cesar salad
5) Bubur pulut hitam

One of the reasons is strange and self serving.

One of my favourite things to do in life is to mise en place.

It is weird I know.

I enjoy working with the knife, slicing, dicing and chopping.

So for me,

the chopped salad is perfect,

I get to savour the whole process of preparing it and then I get double the pleasure from forking through it.

The salad combinations are unlimited and just think of it of a mix of something light,

something fresh and

a clever mix of things in my fridge.

Dried apricots + raisins + blue cheese + oranges + olive-oiled mixed vege = gorgeously tasteful.

To round things up,

the evergreen melt-in-your-mouth bubur pulut hitam.

Now, that's what i call a decent meal.


The things he do to seriously annihilate time

1) He actually reads
2) He actually does his house chores but the house is in constant mess
3) He thinks alot trying to analyse situations which of course, his solutions are catastrophic

If you think you and i pretty much common,

then you're half way there.

Well, that's what i like to think.

=)

_____________________________________________________________________________________

"To accept ourselves as we are means to value our imperfections as much as our perfections"


To accept ourselves means

we value neither our perfections nor our imperfections.

But rather,

we value the difference between perfections and the flaws.

I admire the entire diamond

but not merely it's facets.

Afterall,

the physical things does not define what's within.

Period.

opinion

An Opinion



Rocky Jr : "...Don't you care about what other people say?!..."

Rocky Sr : "...Then the time came for you to be your own man and take on the world, and you did. But somewhere along the line, you changed. You stopped being you. You let people stick a finger in your face and tell you you're no good. And when things got hard, you started looking for something to blame, like a big shadow. Let me tell you something you already know. The world ain't all sunshine and rainbows. It's a very mean and nasty place and I don't care how tough you are it will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently if you let it. You, me, or nobody is gonna hit as hard as life. But it ain't about how hard ya hit. It's about how hard you can get it and keep moving forward. How much you can take and keep moving forward. That's how winning is done! Now if you know what you're worth then go out and get what you're worth. But ya gotta be willing to take the hits, and not pointing fingers saying you ain't where you wanna be because of him, or her, or anybody! Cowards do that and that ain't you! You're better than that! I'm always gonna love you no matter what. No matter what happens. You're my son and you're my blood. You're the best thing in my life. But until you start believing in yourself, ya ain't gonna have a life..."


An opinion.

It is one of the greatest gifts we are given,

especially when we live in a society that encourages it on a wide scale

when debating some small and trivial matters.

The truth is we have always had it,

but there have been plenty of times when we have chosen not to use it.

Do you we use it for right or wrong?

Do we use it to influence those we choose to be around or do we choose it to educate?

If I didn’t have an opinion,

I would not be writing this blog.

Things can change if you want them to,

but like everything that is worth having,

it takes a great deal of effort.

When protest marches took place in the 60’s and 70’s,

there was more of a movement then there is today.

You can throw in artistic nature,

rebelling for change,

people who did not want to be like their parents as likely reasons.

Today I do not think we do that and

some would say we have even more of a platform to express ourselves.

Take one look at Youtube and

you will find ready made celebrities.

From the man crying about the media harassment of Britney Spears to

the guys who can complain about George Bush being an idiot.

There is always an opportunity to get your voice heard.

I wonder what the likes of Micheal Jackson or Elmo would have done with

something like Youtube or Myspace?

_____________________________________________________________________________________

"To accept ourselves as we are means to value our imperfections as much as our perfections"

Tell me your views.

We shall discuss about it once im done with my ridiculous night shift.

Adious.

The unknown is what the future holds

The unknown is what the future holds


It is now 12 in the morning and

I sit here with a sad face,

but I am not sad.

Rather, I am pensive,

looking deep within myself and exploring my feelings.

It is hard to delve into one’s soul and reveal these things.

It is even harder to sit and wait;

to be patient when all you want is her.

An image appears at the forefront of my thoughts.

It is her.

I feel as though my memory serves me only for the purpose of remembering her face;

her bright eyes,

her cute smile and funny personality.

Her beauty is engraved in my mind.

Her grace and elegance is sublime and unforgettable.

She is within reach, yet farther than anyone I’ve ever known.

Ironic, I know.

Some say that eyes are the doors to one’s soul.

Her eyes are not the doors to her soul.

But rather an opportunity.

An opportunity to feel overwhelming happiness,

an opportunity for me to do what I am doing now;

revealing my soul.

It’s been a while since I metaphorically put pen to paper.

It’s been a while since I’ve had a muse,

someone who can ignite my passionate soul.

How can it be that I have these feelings already?

This is another question that scares me.

I sit on this chair with my mind all afloat.

Mixed feelings and confusion still linger.

Fear is what I fear most.

I am afraid of feeling afraid

of not having the confidence to grab this bull by the horns.

Like many others,

I have phobias.

I am afraid of water,

I am afraid of the departure of my loved ones

and thoughts of the future just leave me feeling hopeless.

The latter of the three is the phobia with the most venom,

for I do not have the ability to see the future and thus,

I fear it.

_____________________________________________________________________________________

Ages have passed, ages to pass
The blind, lame, wicked born
Suffered, unloved, cried and died
Wars fought, diseases ravaged
Insane, deaf and dumb, all still born
Is there anybody to care?

-

Unheard prayers, cries and agonies
Why hide behind this mask of miracles
The unknown cannot be loved
But the known can be
For why is man here
If not to share and care

_____________________________________________________________________________________

If blood is thicker than water

Guess what's thicker than blood ?

*wagbrow*