MOJO

Reminiscing the puberty stage of mine

never fails to leave me chuckle.

From the terrible acne breakouts

to

teenage love affairs

and to

the lofty dreams which never seemed to materialise (as usual).

I could fondly remember a moment when

i began to give my mojo the first "test-drive".

People say sharing is caring

but this "sharing session" will only leave me,

well most probably, being a laughing stock.

haha.

My parents brought me to a typical void-deck malay wedding.

It was one of those cheesy weddings,

with plenty of bad singing and cheap door gifts.

Not exactly equinox cuisine,

but hey,

it was free.

Well, technically.

Only one tiny weeny problem :

the waitress chick was hot(based on a 14 year old view).

Imagine sitting with your parents,

making small talk about how tasteless the kuehs are

and being completely and thoroughly

distracted by the waitress.

I was dieing!

The sudden potent rush began to take over.

She had this exotic look.

She wore a sparkly silver tiara headband thing that was ghetto hawt.

The slightly baggy baju kurung that could only be hiding a slender yummy figure.

A fashionista in disguise.

I can’t tell how old women are back then.

But I’m pretty sure this waitress was in her teens.

Too young for a relationship with me,

I suspect.

But not too young for me to flirt with.

*wagbrow*

Hot waitress and I immediately shared heavy eye contact.

I love when women hold my gaze.

One,

it shows confidence.

Two,

a willingness to tangle.

The eyes reveal a lot.

The problem is,

I wasn’t in a position to act immediately.

If my parents weren’t there,

I would have chatted her right up.

But I don’t feel comfortable approaching a lady with

my mom and dad watching me.

Too bad i couldn't send a mental telepathy or SOMETHING.

After a while,

hot waitress just quit flirting.

I was just another pimply teenager who

was unwillingly accompanying his parents to a wedding.

She could have lost interest for many reasons.

Maybe I was too young.

Maybe I didn’t act quickly enough.

Maybe I was supposed to diss my mom and

do the sweet talk pick up lines approach thing.

haha

Who knew ?

I didn’t give up.

When my parents headed back to the car,

I excused myself to the restroom to avoid an immediate exit.

After,

I headed back to see what was what with hot waitress.

She was there.

She saw me.

She gave no flirtatious smile or wink.

Just a curious look like i was an extra terrestrial being.

Perhaps wondering why I was still poking around.

The thing is,

I had a bit of the once-bitten,

twice-shy in me from a embarrasing past experience.

I smiled and turned and left.

If you don’t strike when the iron is hot,

it’s mighty hard to make a dent when things cool.

Rest assured,

i have taken steps to rise from the mojo-less ashes.

But i seriously wonder,

do i have one in the first place..

hmmmm....

_____________________________________________________________________________________

Now I may have faith to make mountains fall
But if I lack love then I am nothin' at all
I can give away everything I possess
But left without love then I have no happiness
-
I know I'm imperfect
and not without sin
But now that I'm older all childish things end
and tell them
-
Tell them I need them
Tell them I love them
And it'll be alright

- Lauryn Hill-

Finding success in failure

Finding success in failure


Once again,

another year is coming to an end.

Simply because time just improve on its pace and

the world just change so rapidly.

So many things occured but

it feels like things are pretty much the same.

2008 is an eventful year

as couples are rushing to get married

and the numbers just continue to escalate.

That also mean divorce rate has drastically inclined.

Divorce is the culmination of a failed marriage.

Right ?

But is that a true failure ?

If they grew from the experience,

it’s evolution.

If being married forced that change,

then maybe the marriage served its purpose and

it’s a success.

People fall in love for the darndest reasons,

but common wisdom suggests opposites attract.

You get with someone because they have strengths to balance your weaknesses.

Over time,

you might gain those strengths for yourself and

start resenting those very things in your partner.

A friend of mine married a woman who was compassionate beyond belief.

He loved her for that.

She showed him a way of life he didn’t really know.

But as he learned to give more from his heart,

he started to feel emotionally crowded in her presence.

The amount of her caring was always bigger than his,

and it didn’t feel there was enough space for his compassion to grow.

If he made a mistake,

she was quick to show him how to be selfless.

When they split up,

he was forced to nurture a giving heart on his own.

He made mistakes,

but he learned from them.

That’s evolution.

The relationship helped him blossom and give more compassionately.

Now,

that’s success.

_____________________________________________________________________________________


If you think divorce is hurtful,

nothing can be more hurtful to the paper-thinned ego than this



but who's to blame ?

The hopeful guy mounting the pressure

or

the pressure mounted girl dashing any ray of hope ?

I can't decide

Ways to this (his) simple, humble heart

Ways to this (his) simple, humble heart



There's a divinity that shapes our lives.

The importance/elegance of simplicity has never failed to dissipate from my senses.

A way to a man's heart is undefine as man is intricately formed but yet, so simple.

As for me,

what i'm going to reveal is strictly confidential and

let's keep things between you (the world) and i.

hush, k.

The kind of music he finds eden listening to

1) Lauryn Hill
2) India Arie
3) Alicia keys

Their rhymes are often about their capabilities,

their confidence and what they expect from the world,

while their songs admit to heartache and vulnerability,

determined to draw lessons from them.

Although their voices have a hoarse, raspy edge,

possibly from the strain of touring,

they did not spare themselves.

They used the rasp for emphasis like a classic soul singer or a preacher,

as one more way to telegraph emotion.

Often they seized a song as an incantation.

Repeating it,

pushing it lower and

higher,

switching from ache to defiance barrage of syllables.

Fervent and insistent

yet so soulful and gentle to the heart.


The food he enjoys popping into his mouth

Now now amir..i know what are you thinking and

please wipe that cheeky smile of your face NOW !

haha

1) Oranges
2) Apricots
3) Raisins
4) Cesar salad
5) Bubur pulut hitam

One of the reasons is strange and self serving.

One of my favourite things to do in life is to mise en place.

It is weird I know.

I enjoy working with the knife, slicing, dicing and chopping.

So for me,

the chopped salad is perfect,

I get to savour the whole process of preparing it and then I get double the pleasure from forking through it.

The salad combinations are unlimited and just think of it of a mix of something light,

something fresh and

a clever mix of things in my fridge.

Dried apricots + raisins + blue cheese + oranges + olive-oiled mixed vege = gorgeously tasteful.

To round things up,

the evergreen melt-in-your-mouth bubur pulut hitam.

Now, that's what i call a decent meal.


The things he do to seriously annihilate time

1) He actually reads
2) He actually does his house chores but the house is in constant mess
3) He thinks alot trying to analyse situations which of course, his solutions are catastrophic

If you think you and i pretty much common,

then you're half way there.

Well, that's what i like to think.

=)

_____________________________________________________________________________________

"To accept ourselves as we are means to value our imperfections as much as our perfections"


To accept ourselves means

we value neither our perfections nor our imperfections.

But rather,

we value the difference between perfections and the flaws.

I admire the entire diamond

but not merely it's facets.

Afterall,

the physical things does not define what's within.

Period.

opinion

An Opinion



Rocky Jr : "...Don't you care about what other people say?!..."

Rocky Sr : "...Then the time came for you to be your own man and take on the world, and you did. But somewhere along the line, you changed. You stopped being you. You let people stick a finger in your face and tell you you're no good. And when things got hard, you started looking for something to blame, like a big shadow. Let me tell you something you already know. The world ain't all sunshine and rainbows. It's a very mean and nasty place and I don't care how tough you are it will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently if you let it. You, me, or nobody is gonna hit as hard as life. But it ain't about how hard ya hit. It's about how hard you can get it and keep moving forward. How much you can take and keep moving forward. That's how winning is done! Now if you know what you're worth then go out and get what you're worth. But ya gotta be willing to take the hits, and not pointing fingers saying you ain't where you wanna be because of him, or her, or anybody! Cowards do that and that ain't you! You're better than that! I'm always gonna love you no matter what. No matter what happens. You're my son and you're my blood. You're the best thing in my life. But until you start believing in yourself, ya ain't gonna have a life..."


An opinion.

It is one of the greatest gifts we are given,

especially when we live in a society that encourages it on a wide scale

when debating some small and trivial matters.

The truth is we have always had it,

but there have been plenty of times when we have chosen not to use it.

Do you we use it for right or wrong?

Do we use it to influence those we choose to be around or do we choose it to educate?

If I didn’t have an opinion,

I would not be writing this blog.

Things can change if you want them to,

but like everything that is worth having,

it takes a great deal of effort.

When protest marches took place in the 60’s and 70’s,

there was more of a movement then there is today.

You can throw in artistic nature,

rebelling for change,

people who did not want to be like their parents as likely reasons.

Today I do not think we do that and

some would say we have even more of a platform to express ourselves.

Take one look at Youtube and

you will find ready made celebrities.

From the man crying about the media harassment of Britney Spears to

the guys who can complain about George Bush being an idiot.

There is always an opportunity to get your voice heard.

I wonder what the likes of Micheal Jackson or Elmo would have done with

something like Youtube or Myspace?

_____________________________________________________________________________________

"To accept ourselves as we are means to value our imperfections as much as our perfections"

Tell me your views.

We shall discuss about it once im done with my ridiculous night shift.

Adious.

The unknown is what the future holds

The unknown is what the future holds


It is now 12 in the morning and

I sit here with a sad face,

but I am not sad.

Rather, I am pensive,

looking deep within myself and exploring my feelings.

It is hard to delve into one’s soul and reveal these things.

It is even harder to sit and wait;

to be patient when all you want is her.

An image appears at the forefront of my thoughts.

It is her.

I feel as though my memory serves me only for the purpose of remembering her face;

her bright eyes,

her cute smile and funny personality.

Her beauty is engraved in my mind.

Her grace and elegance is sublime and unforgettable.

She is within reach, yet farther than anyone I’ve ever known.

Ironic, I know.

Some say that eyes are the doors to one’s soul.

Her eyes are not the doors to her soul.

But rather an opportunity.

An opportunity to feel overwhelming happiness,

an opportunity for me to do what I am doing now;

revealing my soul.

It’s been a while since I metaphorically put pen to paper.

It’s been a while since I’ve had a muse,

someone who can ignite my passionate soul.

How can it be that I have these feelings already?

This is another question that scares me.

I sit on this chair with my mind all afloat.

Mixed feelings and confusion still linger.

Fear is what I fear most.

I am afraid of feeling afraid

of not having the confidence to grab this bull by the horns.

Like many others,

I have phobias.

I am afraid of water,

I am afraid of the departure of my loved ones

and thoughts of the future just leave me feeling hopeless.

The latter of the three is the phobia with the most venom,

for I do not have the ability to see the future and thus,

I fear it.

_____________________________________________________________________________________

Ages have passed, ages to pass
The blind, lame, wicked born
Suffered, unloved, cried and died
Wars fought, diseases ravaged
Insane, deaf and dumb, all still born
Is there anybody to care?

-

Unheard prayers, cries and agonies
Why hide behind this mask of miracles
The unknown cannot be loved
But the known can be
For why is man here
If not to share and care

_____________________________________________________________________________________

If blood is thicker than water

Guess what's thicker than blood ?

*wagbrow*

Chapter Three (The best is yet to come)

Chapter Three (The best is yet to come)



Many people would consider life like a book.

It has a beginning,

a middle and an end.

Depending on the person,

the book may be an uplifting tale of triumph against the odds,

a depressing tragedy of pain and tribulation,

or perhaps even a steamy romance *wagbrow*

But seriously,

I don’t think my life has been any of those.

Or perhaps its been a little of each?

I don’t know.

The only way I will see how my book will turn out,

is when it’s finished.

In retrospect,

I think i'm only about a quarter done.

I guess the first chapter was my childhood.

Then the second, my teen years.

Now it’s the chapter of my early adult life.

Maybe my book’s a horror.

Because I have to admit,

I’m a little scared.

But no matter how horrifying it may be,

i guess there are just some things that fall in place nicely

and simply sets my endorphins rushing.

Opening up the presents

Still opening

It has a duel function if you know what i mean *wagbrow*

Body Shop facial products. Also has a duel function *wagbrow*

CK sports briefs. Yummay

And the list just goes on and on

and thank you guys.

I sincerely appreciate it and please,

continue to shower me with love and most importantly,

with gifts.

haha

Good asian cuisine at its finest.

Good company.

Good gifts.

And this is only 1/4 of the yat's 21st.

The best is yet to come.

Shall leave you with a final picture.

Spot the chubby nerd (clue : black frame.hahaha)

Ideology and Philosophy : Do we really understand them?

Ideology and Philosophy : Do we really understand them?



A debate during dinner has never failed to amuse me.

From a humble satay stick and a cup of teh tarik

to a fiery yet intellectual facts spitting.

I guess i'm pretty proud to be Ruhani's son.

Humans are the only species that murders its own for ideological reasons.

That includes the Nazis’ extermination of six million Jews,

Mao’s murder of 30 million Chinese and

the list just goes on and on.

Why would this be?

Why is philosophy or ideology so threatening?

One emerging theory suggests that genocide may make sense,

at least on an emotional level.

We all know we are going to die

and there is absolutely nothing we can do to prevent this.

We should be utterly terrified.

But we’re not.

We get up every morning,

dress and groom ourselves,

go to work and so forth.

How do we manage this?

Humans are meaning-making creatures.

We construct a meaning of having a wonderful world.

Now,

that’s what you call philosophy.

The problem occurs when our carefully constructed philosophy is threatened.

Your unfamiliar worldview makes me keenly aware of my mortality.

It threatens my very existence.

So why shouldn’t I wish you dead?

Philosophy is personal.

So, our brain fights death with death.

It reasons that if an enemy dies,

his philosophy must have been weak or just plain wrong,

and thus no real threat to our superior worldview.

It’s a powerful psychological defense.

It’s tit for tat,

and the new century starts counting its genocide victims.

_____________________________________________________________________________________


Such passionate interplay of character.

ps : i want an All blacks jersey and a rugby ball for my birthday

PLSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

i'll be good boy

=)

Cakes..Yummy !

Cakes..Yummy !



I've once been told that

my curiosity to research about weird topics

reaches the weirdest levels at times (This is what you get for being friends with a science student)

I happened to find out how true that statement is

while thinking of what people gonna do for my birthday.

(i know i'm a little thick-skinned but heck..people do need to treated with royalty at least once a year..nyehehehe)

Just as I was working on that,

I thought,

"the birthday cake is an overused way of expressing good wishes for someone's birthday, it lacks all originality...

but why is it so popular?

and how did people adopt the habit of celebrating birthdays with cakes anyway?".

Some big, deep UNNECESSARY thoughts that I had to reflect upon.

And so, i did a little internet research instead of "spending quality time" with dearest Maria Ozawa *wagbrow*

It began with ancient Greeks preparing the first cakes and

eating them in birthdays,

although they were also commonly used to worship the goddess of the Moon, Artemis.

They were baked in a round shape to represent the full moon, and

candles decoration to represent the shine of the moon.

Thus,

the omipresence round-shaped birthday cakes with candles nowadays.

Later in the 18th century,

the Germans also introduced the custom of placing candles on top of the cakes,

but unlike the Greeks,

they were not intended to be mere decoration.

Candles were believed to bring birthday wishes up to God.

However,

as the use of candles began to spread out to other regions of the world,

it gradually lost all religious significance.

I am not sure about how useful this info may be to you guys,

but it doesn't kill to learn more.

So, people.

Put on your thinking hats

and present me with some cakes on the 27th Nov

=)

this is my definition of a good birthday cake



ps : please don't tell my momma i love this "cake"
____________________________________________________________________

Dawn of youth

Clear the lines of my future
I would
Let the events of past sublime
Setting the mind free soaring high
To hold the dawn that just slipped by

Yet,
the historic travails have seen
me through vicissitudes of life
who scaled higher with every strife
To let not any dawn just slip by

Black is the new color (if you know what i mean)

Black is back in a vengeance


I've to admit

ns shift work is eating so much of my personal life

to the extent of exiling myself from the recent growth of civilisation.

This is today's news that is not news anymore:

Barack Obama is voted president of the United States.

Great.

Just great.

Got to know that few days after.

Screw shift work.

But nvm.

Let us shift our attention on Mr Obama.

The election of Barack Obama is in fact relevant for many reasons other than his race.

He brings tons of hope to some Americans,

who believe that the power of change towards a better future for the nation is in Mr. Obama's hands and ideals.

He's also becoming president in times of turmoil

when America is submerged in the worst economic recession that the country has seen

since the Great Depression of 1929.

In addtion,

his coming to office will come by the time when U.S. troops are still present in Iraq,

in what has proven to be one of the most unpopular wars of all times amongst the U.S. citizens.

People trust that HE will be that person who

will finally direct the country to the path of sustained progress for all.

I sincerely hope and pray that Mr. Obama can achieve that.

It would be extremely disappointing if,

at the end of the road,

he proves to be another populist that comes to power by means of selling people hope

without necessarily making that become true.

The winds of change appear to finally have hit the US

and let's hope that change works for the best interests of everyone

especially Singapore.

ps: let's hope HE solves the current food chain misfortune.

To get this straight, melamine and food don't fucking mix in the first place.
_____________________________________________________________________________________

Thousands of apologies for the unattended blog.

More posts in future.

Insya'Allah

For now,

i'll just leave you with a picture of my current self.

Peace.

eh eh...wrong pic..nyehehehe

ok..that is definitely not a 'bukkake' effect

funny thing about love

The funny thing about love



Women aren’t always known for being the most straightforward when it comes to dishing on what they think is hot in a man.

Most men have been nagged by girlfriends about some characteristic or another;

but wouldn’t it be great to find out some of those behaviors are actually what keep your woman interested?

Sometimes a woman can seem outwardly annoyed by a man’s behavior

but actually find it attractive.

Confused?

Take for example; our parents.

How in the blue hell do they keep their attraction ignite after donkey years ?

The followings are probably my top few "research" i've done so far

1) Jealousy

Such a powerful tool.

Although unchecked jealousy can easily get out of hand,

a touch here or there can really fan the flames of attraction.

If she thought you really didn’t care about the cute BOY NEXT DOOR who hit on her,

she’d think you didn’t care about her at all.

When you probe into her relationship with her personal trainer,

she may chide you for your overactive imagination,

but it’s certain that she’s smiling on the inside (Standard..macam tak tau gitu).

A little jealousy will go a long, long way, so use it very sparingly.

Be aware of its power and allure *winks*

2) Masculinity

Although it may seem like a woman wants a man who dresses up,

sometimes a soccer-playing, jersey-wearing guy can be more appealing than you‘d think.

Key word : SOMETIMES

Now and again,

she enjoys seeing you in your element getting to rescue her (i always wanted to don that firemen suit..hey..it's a fiery fantasy) or fix her stuff.

It is true that when you go out to a nice dinner,

she’d like you to dress well and act better,

but what she doesn’t admit is that,

for the MOST part,

she appreciates your masculinity,

no matter how unfinished it may be.

=)

3) She actually likes you for you.

No matter how fugly you may be

or having a face only a mother could love..haha

it doesn't really matter (actually it does ah..but to a certain extent..haha..ni nak kasi korang chance).

What matters most is you're willing to exude out from what's within

and she loves you for who you are..hahahaha...macam ye ye

As the saying goes (padahal ni saying..aku da ckp banyak kali sak),

the physical things does not define within.



Being bald and pimply is a tough job.

But i am as sweet as this finished creme brulee.

haha

ps : my mama said it's good to tell truth especially during the fasting month..haha
_____________________________________________________________________________________

Sacrifices and its sorrows



The idea of living life to the fullest is a mantra for the ages.

Despite this, it’s too easy to live by the status quo

and try to fix your mistakes as you go through life.

What is regrettable varies from person to person

and some things that cause regret are beyond control.

But if you find yourself trying to patch up your life,

chances are you’ll find yourself regretting more and more of the things you didn’t do.

Sometimes placing others before yourself might not be necessarily be a good idea.

Sacrificing 2 years of joy and probably a life time of "bowls of rice" for accomadating hours of ease to my parents.

A riduculous decision ?

I'm not sure but i hope God has a perfect rationale.

Crying and regretting is futile as the inevitable had happened.

Goodbye tekong ! Goodbye green ! Goodbye OCS ! Goodbye military opportunity !

You guys have been such blissful dreams but only to leave me abrased.

So long.

_____________________________________________________________________________________

I may continue to exceed onlookers expections

but will always fall short to yours.

What about now. What about today

What about now. What about today


For the past few years,

I have been pursuing a dream.

A dream that is so close to my heart that I wish not to disclose it

even in the cover of anonymity.

All I have to say is that it has nothing to do with the matters of heart.

I have been oscillating through a wide range of emotions during this pursuit of mine.

It has brought me much pain,

made me lose faith and got me very depressed.

It has also helped me in discovering myself,

given me hope, faith.

It has been of a dual nature bringing me sadness and

happiness all at the same time.

I became a social recluse refusing to interact with the outside world except

for when it was absolutely necessary.

I have just retreated into a shell.

To sum it up,

it has cost me substantial amount of my time and energy.

Now even though I don't have the obsession that I had in the beginning,

the fire still burns.

I have kept trying hard to make my dream real.

On the way,

I have lost patience and gave up many times.

I have writhed in pain and despair and given up one day,

only to pick up where I left off the next day.

Even in the face of utter despair,

I have refused to give up.

Some times I feel like a crazy man who is trying to break a stone wall with bare hands.

Yet I continue (though ego hurts).

ps : Till the fat lady sings, i still wish to be the last samurai.

_____________________________________________________________________________________

Pics of fond memories

The ex-seniors

The board

Police officer. Air stewardess. Student

i know i look selenger...i know

ok..bye !

Slices of my crappy life

Slices of my crappy life



1) It's a happy world (macam real..)

Let's face it.

The world is not a happy place.

It's all about pain and suffering

and that's on its good days.

People suck and i'm pretty sure they do *wagbrow*.

And they are frequently mean.

Any advice predicated on a joyous planet were people live in harmony is bound to disappoint.

2) Bad luck is only temporary.

Try telling that to someone who's been in the hole for a few decades.

Good luck is based on?

On LUCK !

That don't call it luck if everyone gets it do they?

We all know it come in threes,

but for some that might just be three lifetimes?

It sucks to be them,

so you should be grateful for just about any small victory,

shouldn't you?

3) You don't have the answer ? Pretend to have one.

We are a culture of pretence

and pretend knowledge is just as good as the real stuff,

possibly even better.

Why not!

Who needs to understand physics when they can just make up their own,

simpler answers that are far far easier to learn.

Bad science is a hot practice.

1 boy + 1 girl = "chemical reaction"

interesting....

4) It's your fault, but you're not to blame

Gotta love a take charge attitude,

followed by a quick denial of responsibility.

If you're taking charge,

shouldn't you be big enough to shoulder at least some of the blame

when it completely blows up because you haven't got a clue?

Why is it that the people who like to lead are also the ones that like to dodge responsibility?

Weasel is a useful word here, isn't it?

hahaha...don't look at me, suckas

Well, that's it.

That's all I got.

It ain't much,

it's utter nonsense, i know.

It's five minutes of your life that you're never going to get back.

But at least you were entertained,

weren't you?

So, you owe me.

Big time.

Cash is preferred.

The sooner you hand it over,

the better you'll feel.

If I get super rich,

I may even give you a sequel.

Lucky you!

haha

ps : now you guys know how bored i am to be stucked at home for 10 days being exiled away from camp *sobs*

Bloody hell it's sunday aka BHIS

Bloody hell it's sunday aka BHIS



hahaha..my version of TGIF

I am awake.

It's still very early in the morning.

I'm feeling very happy and relaxed.

I just had a dream.

It was one of those dreams which I can't quite recollect,

but has left me with a sense of joy

and i can't quite put my finger down to point the exact reason of my joy.

Pelek tapi benar...tak bedek

I'm mildly irritated that my dream is cut short by a gentle caress on the back of my neck.

I roll around to find the cause of it.

I see the baby sleeping peacefully at the other end of the bed.

I lay there admiring the sight that lay before me.

It's so beautiful to see a baby and especially when it's asleep.

Heavenly sight.

The baby is far off,

in fact dangerously close to the edge of the bed.

It couldn't have been the baby which had brushed my neck.

While still cursing the mother "kepala pantat betol" for letting the baby unattended,

I wonder if it was her who had interrupted my dream.

I can't find her anywhere.

Still not completely lucid,

I feel that some thing's not right.

I'm not sure if I'm up or still inside a dream.

I turn on the light in order to check upon the baby.

As i turn to reach out to it,

I realize it all.

There's no baby there.

It's just a pile of clothes.

Standard ah..katel memang berserak pe..

Suddenly I feel a sense of reality.

Now I'm completely awake.

There's no baby because THERE IS NO BABY.

haha

I don't have one.

Nor is there any mother of the baby.

I'm still not married nor i have any girlfriend.

I'm single for god sakes.

I'm still sitting up.

Lights are on.

I'm wondering who got me up from my sleep.

The gentle brush on my neck feels real although I'm beginning to doubt my mind.

I finally decide to get back to sleep still wondering about the whole ordeal.

It's like one of the moments where the distinction between reality and the imaginary is blurred.

I re-organize my pillows trying to find that elusive comfort position to settle into.

As I'm at it,

I discover to my horror the real culprit that got me awake.

LIPAS LA BANGANG !

It's a god damn COCKROACH.

It's hiding in between the pillows.

It must have been the one trying to bite my neck.

Any last traces of sleep is finally gone.

I give out a high-pitched squeal (ni pat camp suare aku macho eh..delta company i/c katekan).

It's enough to make the neighbour's baby cry but clearly not potent enough to wake up my folks.

I scream again and again trying my best not to blow my throat out of the mouth.

After the third attempt,

my dad wakes up and we both team up and wage a battle against the little fella.

After five long long ardous minutes

and against a formidable enemy, haha

against all odds,

the enemy is overpowered,

killed.

NYAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA !

We throw the poor, dead soul out into the thrash.

Dad goes back to sleep as if nothing's happened (standard ah..mcm tak tau gitu).

I can't sleep anymore.

Not on that bed at least.

I take bath.

How can I not?

Later on,

I flip through the TV channels to find anything interesting,

still thinking about the poor guy whose life I have ended mercilessly.

I see the time.

It's 05.30

Sunday morning.

And so begins my Sunday.

Aaaah Sundays used to be soooo relaxing.

hais..book in balek laaa nampaknye

_____________________________________________________________________________________

By the look of it,

i can say my early goodbye to OCT.

It's so heartbreaking to know the war is lost even before the battle began.

Goals and life lessons

Goals and life lessons



I saw the movie "goal" in cable rerun.

Anyone who is a soccer fan will definitely have seen it.

In short,

an aspiring footballer,

who unsurprisingly ,

against all odds (macam real aje ni mamat latino..haha),

succeeds in his lifelong dream of becoming a football player.

The movie was well made.

The actors played their part.

It hits the right chord.

What attracts me to movies like this is that you get to see a lifetime of of emotions packed in to a hour and half timespan.

All great sport movies are not movies about the sport,

but about life.

We need to be like a sponge.

Just keep absorbing good things out of life when and where we come across.

Just try to be a better person.

A friend once said,

"If you are still happy,after looking into the mirror everyday,then it's a life well spent".

Heck,

many of us fear the mirror let alone see into it.

The significance of introspection should never be lost out in life.

It's the best tool we have been provided with and

it alone is sufficient to become everything we are not.

ps : Even kids do want to dream lofty and succeed

The kacang puteh boys

Men and their deviant selves

Men and their deviant selves


If we chase what we want to chase,

what if we're chasing the wrong thing?

If we are,

then how would you determine that?

If we don't chase anything,

wouldn't that be a total waste?

If we try to chase something that we think is right,

what if we don't manage to chase it?

Do we enjoy the chase

or express sorrow because we cannot chase it?

All too often,

we exaggerate our risks.

We keep justifying our concerns till it trap us in its vicious downward spiral.

Devoid of education and sophisticated reasoning,

the old male cleaner in the Home Team Academy is often able to deal with life much better than many of us.

Is it time to look up to that old man,

into his eyes to ask him,

where does he get it from?

In his simple stoicism,

is perhaps,

our lost resilience?

Just something to ponder about.
_____________________________________________________________________________________

Weekends just seem to past too quickly.

Too many people to spend time with but time just wont permit.

Sorry people.

Obligation to country is a priority.

I'll make it up to you guys.

Real SOON

=)



ps : something to keep my heart at peace during training

NS and its wonders

NS and its wonders



I realised I was physically gone when my breathing got shallower,

cold sweat kept breaking out around my neck,

I could fall asleep literally in any position,

my mind could no longer digest any new information

and I could no longer run.

It felt like like death.

But on a cold fateful night,

in foot-powder-mixed-with-my-sweat encrusted police uniform,

I picked up a dying moth.

So,

I placed the insect on a leaf

and proceeded to watch it spend its very last amount of time on this earth.

Struggling weakly,

ragged but yet with courage.

It was trying very hard,

to take simple flight,

to spread its wings one last time.

However,

to no avail.

It was an inevitable death.

If I were this moth,

would I would not want to fly to the very highest I could ever fly

and perish a white burning, scorching mist?

Yet they do not have choices,

the choices are made for them even before they,

themselves,

are made.

We do.

Life has taught me to appreciate it even more as

with suffering comes wisdom.
_____________________________________________________________________________________

What makes a man a man?

A friend of mine once wondered.

Is it his origins?

The way he comes to life?

I don't think so.

It's the choices he makes.

Not how he starts things

but how he decides to end them

- Agent John Meyes

home

Home is where the heart is



I'll put a one-liner for my ns life so far:

Sweet but yet sour.

Can be a little hard to swallow at times,

but overall wholesome.

It has only been 3 weeks,

nothing much changed.

I came out,

breathed the air of civil,

it felt good.

The ride to Choa Chu Kang MRT station,

uneventful other than me and a couple of buddies telling each other how we would dread to see each other again

because that meant we would have to return to waking up at 0500 and

smelling like horsecrap everyday.

I got to admit first thing I stepped off the bus

and noticed were women,

apparently my hormones dull after lacking contact with the opposite sex for weeks.

And *snaps fingers*

just like that,

they get sharpened again.

Must have been quite a potent buzz,

I think I was just staring with my mouth open,

jaw slackened.

No wonder they sent all those nasty female field instructors to us during confinement,

luckily I was too caught up in trying to clear my blocked nose and

prevent inhalation of my squad's "fragrant" odour.

It's not a hot shower,

it was not the sweltering sun or

the feeling of being in a room with 40 pespiring men.

Home,

be it with friends or family,

regardless of how they nag at you for the least silly thing that you do,

is still where you will find yourself the warmest.

fyi : i'm still very much breathing in this ardous phase of mine

_____________________________________________________________________________________

I hear what your heart says,
I offer not much but
I will escort you through the dark.
For strolling with you in the dark keeps me warmer
then sauntering alone in the light.
Now
keep very still and
listen to what you thought was nothing.

leader

What makes a true leader ?



Ask most people and

they will say intelligence for starters.

Vision, drive, being able to communicate well yada yada yada.

Those crappy answers you'll get from "koteks" who orate from behind their woodendesks.

They're forgetting the big stuff.

The stuff you don't get to learn in instituitions.

It's the stuff between the lines that only mistakes and experience can teach you.

National Service (hahaha..yeaa..tell me about it)

and unfortunately,

it has forced me to dig the leader in me.

And by the way, i just came back from my two weeks confinement.

Being a squad ic is no easy task.

Hell is correct.

But someone just got to do the dirty job.

Displaying leadership skills involves taking charge,

making the tough decisions,

getting the job done

and always keeping an eye on the bottom line.

None of these can be attained if you don't practice what you preach.

You can't get the troops to go into battle and

give up their blood, sweat and tears

for a leader who is too scared to do the same.

Don't ask your subordinates to do anything you wouldn't be willing to do in their position.

Practice what you preach as actions speak louder than words.

You tend to be more understanding of a man if you walk a day in his shoes.

Even the most respected and feared man must show compassion at one time or other

or his followers will think he is nothing but an insane dictator.

Ultimately,

being a leader teaches you to possess moral obligation to conduct yourself with the same honor

and conviction as wise men.

Believe it or not,

the ability to command authority should be admired and replicated for time to come.

I think i shall end my post with a quote

" A true leader exercises power with honor will work from inside out, starting with himself"

fyi : one of my men had his leg fractured during training and the other is currently in ICU

go figure the intensity

Goodbyes are never fun

Goodbyes are never fun


This would probably be my final post as a normal civilian.

So, i've painstakingly updated this blog in order to fulfill your viewing pleasure.

haha

My life was pretty secure,

emotionally I never spent much,

I grew up not planning at all,

by and by somehow,

I started planning for every little thing.

The smallest of details,

the crucial time factor,

the steps in which to take,

the efficiency in which I used.

I try my very best now to undermine in-efficiency and negative effect,

it has been serving me relatively well.

The results are an improved quality of work,

efficiency and most importantly balance.

Life was treating me exquisitely and then,

it decided to let me go to hell.

I got sucker-punched in the gut.

Departures and Goodbyes.

It’s a part of life and it's one that never gets any easier.

One minute you’re cruising a life that’s ascending like a rocket and

the next,

you just feel like you're scattered across the countryside.

Indeed,

what i need now is

substantive, regular and reliable life-affirming activity (aka National Service) to get my life in order.

Too many goodbyes in a short period of time has taken a toll on me.

It eats away your insides and

places you in a place without any light.

But its controllable and in it,

lies the key to what is ultimately the most important.

It will fuel.

It really tallies.

Gosh..becoming an emo shit head right now.

haha

kk

Shall let the pics do the talking.

Yups..the smile says it all (aku nga flex aku nye tricep tu..)

Boys to Men

G unit

Probably one of the main highlights of my life
(don't ask me why i did that pose..you ain't wanna know)

Mat-mat cock bengkok (aku aje yang tak)

Most importantly, i'm going to miss them

Anyways,

I hear it all bout NS,

I should think I know where its building up too.

I'll be fine. I HOPE

Entertain you guys again real soon!

ps : i wish i could but i have other obligations. sorry

Graduation Ceremony

Graduation Ceremony 2008

Many of life's failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up

All our dreams can come true if we have the courage to pursue them

Success is never final. Failure is never fatal. It is courage that counts

The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams

"Time to score !"...hahaha..i'm pretty sure they remember that line

Secret to success : a jerry can of waste sample from tuas

Let our paths be crossed in future while working towards success

Boldness has genius, power, and magic in it ! go figure

There's Allah in times of success
There's definitely Allah in times of suffering
Faith should never be bereft of
As it is the only thing that keeps us aloft

-

Alhamdulilah
He made me go this far
InsyaAllah
A few steps more
I'll be knocking on success' door

-

He never burden His creations beyond their scope
With Him,
There's nothing we can't cope
All we need is just a little thing which we call
HOPE

Mr Jones is taking a break

Mr Jones is taking a break

Will be away from msn and blogging till further notice

haha

till then,

signing off

El Jones

ps : don't laugh

Be a Man

The Funny Thing About Men



The world has indeed changed a lot.

We've moved ahead as a society in certain things,

we've evolved,

we've transitioned,

we've gone to the moon,

but in the end,

we've taken more than a few steps back as far as human nature is concerned.

My dad always told me when i was growing (still growing..dont worry..it's harmless *winks*),

a man's honor his most important virtue

and a man's ability to be real

is his most pressing social concern.

Sadly and unfortunately,

things have changed and pretty upsetting.

To put it nicely,

men have become whining, pathetic motherfuckas

incapable of handling a little hardship,

incapable of handling criticism.

Easy to say,

we are slowly becoming women.

Now, that's one big fuck.

Ladies, you definitely gotta agree with this one.

You have noticed the feminization of men.

The Sensitive New Age Clowns (SNAC) being the ideal Romeos women are looking for,

it's total bull crap (to a large extent).

Women want a man who act like a man,

who will take charge,

who doesn't cry

and who faces fear.

1) i think Men quit too easily these days

It used to be that a man rather have a sword pierced through their stomachs than to be humiliated by surrendering.

Men used to be tough and

not look for the exit door every time things got shaky.

Now, at the first sign of trouble,

men put up the white flag instead of fighting the tough battle.

Only real champions are the ones who stay in the battle.

Be it stress at work,

argument with team members or

a relationship that has hit some bumps,

quitting when faced with adversity has become too easy.

2) Men sadly can't take criticism

Remember the expression "take it like a man" ?

Remember when military training was mandatory and

anyone who complained about waking up at 4 a.m

would end up scrubbing toilets with their tongues?

Now every time someone says something critical that isn't sugar-coated with girly fairy dust,

all hell breaks loose and

the tears start to roll.

So what if your girlfriend tells you you're a jackass ?

well, maybe you are.

haha..

Can we please get back to being able to handle a little disapproval?

3) Men are pretty much useless these days

Our forefathers could build a kampong that lasted for decades with their bare hands.

Nowadays,

men can't even put up a shelf bought from ikea without reading a 200-page manual.

To make things worst,

they don't even know what's a screwdriver.

4) Men lose their dominance

The inability to be master of their own domain makes men lose all sense of masculinity.

Men have handed over the whip to their women (i'm not talking about spanky, kinky whips)

and allowed them to use it, liberally,

frequently.

No decision can be made without consulting the female.

Stop being second in the hierarchy chart.

No matter how tough life gets,

bite your lip and handle it.

Don't bitch,

just move on.

Be macho,

don't be afraid to say something sexist if it reflects reality.

Don't be afraid to tell people what you think (and be ready to get a kick in the nuts).

But of course, do it smartly.

Boys,

it's time for us to get our balls back,

it's time for us to swing the pendulum back the other way and not just your "Mr-Happy-Serpent".

Reclaim your manhood.

Be strong.

Be decisive

and stop watching Martha Steward (if Tyra Banks..then it's alright).

As what Russell Peters enjoy saying

" Be a Man..Do the right thing ! "

hahaa

peace

nothing personal..just an opinion

Nothing personal..just an opinion


In an era of feminists hogging the airwaves and political correctness censoring us,

men are walking on eggshells and fail to rationalize this to the world.

Let's face it.

Women are allowed to manipulate men with

sex and tears to achieve whatever they want (well..almost anything, that is).

You think men can do the same..i think you'll probably get bitch-slapped.

haha

They usurp traditional male jobs yet still,

with bold-faced hypocrisy,

expect men to finance their social lives.

But feminism made one BIGGY mistake.

0o0oyes it did.

It failed to take into account the fundamentally self-serving nature of the female gender.

The battle cry of feminism abruptly changed from equal pay for equal work to

"you go, girl ! " and

"Girl Power ! ".

And suddenly,

it was all about "ME, MYSELF and I !!!!" ,

the self-indulgent bawl of a spoiled brat.

This is exactly the problem.

Modern women have demanded and won.

But they went too greedy and

so accustomed to using men to do anything with these rights

but shoot themselves in the foot with them.

For better or worse,

they have indeed changed the world.

But,

if they want to profit from this change,

then they need to start learning what equality really means.

If a woman chooses to stay in the kitchen,

that's pretty fine with us.

But if she wants to hold her own in a man's world,

then she should make an honest woman out of herself.

It's a battle out there.

As what i used to tell myself

"Getting what you want is the first miracle. Living with it might require a second."

So,

becareful what you wish for.

=)

Save me. Save you

Save me. Save you



It's widely known that the pre-historic wipe out was majority done by the "rocks" from the sky.

Chunks of planets looking like cooking crumbs hitting earth

flaming, that is.

For what's known,

those "cookie crumbs" came from a planet which scientist like to label it as 'planet x' .



That happened 4.5 billion years ago.

BUT

reoccurance will take place approximately 4.5 billion years later.

This time,

it's no longer going to be chunks but the entire planet x.


Imagine this.

A giant ball ,

1/3 the size of earth

hitting earth directly in the centre causing a massive annihilation.

Molten lava from core of earth will just ooze out enveloping the surface of the earth

causing the temperature to elevate tremendously causing the air we are breathing in to

literally combust and just burn our nasal passage.

As for earth,

it will just BOOM !!

leaving to look like an apple leftover


The artist impression of earth's destruction was enough to send shiver down my spine.

Saving gaia ?

Ummm....

How about saving faith ?

With the catastrophical news regarding bird flu, aids,

tsunami and recent gate to tears,

the myanmar typhoon incident,

i just couldn't stop myself from feeling phobic and paranoid.

Any loud siren or thunderstorm will just remind me of Messenger Rafael (Malaikat Izrafil)

attempting to blow his trumpet (sangkakala).

I don't know about you

but i'm definitely feeling the heat.

So,

the main question still lies

" Have you done enough, fellow muslims ? "

The Long Awaited Post

The Long Awaited Post



For the much awaited post.

I know i took so long to blog but i've been seriously busy enjoying life.

I shall get the ball rolling with the country's commuters on public transport.

The island-state of Singapore breeds funny people.

Ridiculously funny people.

If you have taken the MRT in Singapore,

it won't be a surprise to see passengers clamouring to get a seat once the train arrives.

It's not much of a concern until you have to alight.

As soon as the train reaches the station,

you are greeted by a swarm of jack-asses with blank facial expressions

all ready to go onboard.

And no,

they do not give way to alighting passengers.

Why ?

Because they have to be the first to get a seat inside as

those alighting are inconsequential and invisible (standard ah..mcm tak biase gitu)

And you really wanna know WHY ?

because they are dick-headed SILLYPOREANS.

To the disgrace of other self-respecting and courteous citizens,

train announcements regularly remind commuters to give way to alighting passengers.

If it has to come to this extent,

you know how grave the problem is.

Wampedek . Wampedek . Wampedek

______________________________________________________________________________________

Trip to Batam

meet mr yusri (right) and vanessa (left)

Miss Tati aka Ta-TITS and Su Yin aka Swing

Having some MILF bonding session

The miniaturised ME (go figure the actual size *wagbrow* )

A bridge of fear need to be crossed in order to get to our dinner.

V for viagra.

Feel good time

wonderkid

The makan kakis

Puti Bungsu Restaurant

Gold-Digga

Synchronizing orgasm at the same time..on my count, ladies

View from hotel

Mr Yusri saw casper..he did saw

As usual, girls just being girls

Another case of smalam da kene rabak-rabak

Bye Batam

______________________________________________________________________________________



If i had boobs and vagina

God damn it

I would probably drown myself in my own love juice.

Simply phenomenal

Btw,

i can't wait for graduation ceremony.

Let's just say i'm bringing sexy back

*wagbrow*