2nd day cny

im really bored right now.business proposal for IDEAS is 80 % done.the other 20 % are just accounting calculations.that part needs loads of research.amcm ryza.thurs.kite turon bisnes lib ah.man.last night was indeed mind drenching. the whole business proposal thingy. i only manage to complete my share of work at 3 am.

ryza couldn't tahan any longer.he quickly went straight to bed.i couldn't sleep.so ape lagi.FM ah.woohoo.simply flawless the performance of my team.passes that sublime the opponent's defence. goals that make you want to watch over and over again.industrious players playing tenaciously.man.this is what i call the beauty of football.well, i guess this year's cny first day is not bad afterall.thx to FM.hehe.

played till 4 30 am.took a quick shower cause i was feeling uncomfortable.so at 5 am.guess what..i performed my isyak prayers.best la.cause i was so occupied with the project and FM.i almost forgot bout my prayers.astaghfirrullah.o0owell.so after doa, then waited for another hour for suboh prayers.after that, tido ah.

woke up at 930.wa.crap la.bangon aje.ryza was fully awake, cleaned up looking fresh.o0oya.and he was eating prata.haha.oits..satu kepeng $20 oi..kau makan 5 kan..abes ah..lauk sambal tumis lagi..aduu..kau ni..so i brushed my teeth..wash my face..okies..the typical routine during holidays.haha.this is i guess the 1st time i ate prata for the past 2 months ah.aiyooo...that long ah..so ryza left round 11 to meet up with syaiful n the other MLS members for beach outing.if only i knew today's plan was cancelled.at least, my 2nd day cny won't this dull

so today there won't be any visiting of relatives.man.it's been quite sometime since i last saw my second cousins.o0o did i ever mention.my second cousins are o0o lalala.haha.yups.you know what i mean.one even look like frankie J.so any girls interested..he's single..he's 28 ..wanee..i know you are smiling right now.=]

so no cny outing.half-completed school work.2 untouched CPPB group reports.never ending tests after the cny.presentations.microbio group report.dang.really ah everyone.if you think your poly life is as bad or worst than this..please tell me..at least i will feel better.

eh syam.power la.bapak aku impressed ah ngan kau nye guitar skills.aku rase korang make the best "father and son" relationship.aduuu...sedei siol.aku taknak kene buang dari roma oi..haha.kau suke eh guitar electric aku..haha..kau nak..aku jual..lets trade..ur intelligence with my guitar..amcm..fair deal..??

wokies people.guess its such a gloomy, mundane cny for me.i guess its just me, my lappy and of course, james blunt's- your beautiiful song which has been playing continuously for the past 3 hrs.just wont get sick of this song.aight.take care, people.smile for me, people.=]

[ to tell or not to tell. it's just a matter of time ]

cny

so much for cny reunion dinner.usually i would have dinner with my family.but maybe not lately ah.( not for the past 3 years).i had macaroni with cheese cooked by my sis.my goodness.that gonna be the last time i'll be tasting her cooking.dang.i really miss the family thingy ah.have i ever told you guys i'm a mix.okies.my dad's mum is a peranakan + melaccan + bugis. my mum's mum..she's a chinese + javanese and a hint of jap.i don't know how the jap thingy ended up in my fam's history.but then ah..what i don't like is the final product..an alien..unfortunately..me ! dang

earlier in the afternoon, i went to the supermarket. mum asked me to get some stuffs for last minute cny preparation.but i only be officially celebrating cny on monday.yups.with my mum's cousins.sunday will be occupied with reports-projects-wrang wrang session with 2 of my favourite monkeys, ryza and syam.yups.oryt guys...bsk kite chong gile babi ah..haha

you know people..the best thing bout cny ah is the ang bao ah.really.thats the only thing i enjoyed most ah when i was younger.now..hmm..walwahullam.if my auntie wanna give, i take..don't want to give..its aight wit me.

eh syam.lu bile nak aja aku gentel guitar as pro as kau..dose siol tak aja aku..haha...masok hehe...u sud noe where ah..da cny pon..de only song aku tau main merry xmas..baik ah..skarang salam lebaran cine...yg tau main lagu santa clause..baik ah..

okies people..gtg..need to do more research for my project..yups..aight..peace..

[ to tell or not to tell. it's just a matter of time ]

my life.

poison ivy.

beauty of love.

never ever think it's half empty. think it's half full.

Gift of life.

insiduous love.

karma .

fragment of a broken home
chocolate

okies.welcome to my life.enjoy.=]

[ to tell or not to tell. it's just a matter of time ]

10 top things

1o top THINGS that Mohd Hidayat most feared of

1) Good Lord.

2) Losing his family especially his parents.He can't live w/o them.

3) Losing G- unit.

4) Losing DCP 1B01.

5) Disappointing his loved ones by not meeting their expectations.

6) Water !! hydrophobia la !!

7) Cannot achieve what he always dream of and that is making into the science world.

8) Blood and dead corpse. the thought of it just can just make him puke.

9) Failing chemistry and maths cause these subjects are his favourite subjects.

10 ) losing..umm...( if his G -unit brothers, syam and ryza still do not know bout this. he really don't know what to say)

test.

so here i am again.okies.summary of today's happenings.

i know i may have this "innocent", slight boy-ish look with the thick specs.then with the child-like attitude.but please ah.don't ever take advantage of me..as in physically.haha.okies.what im gonna tell you guys right now is true.so please, kids, don't ever try this on anyone.

i was inside the lift with the rest of my classmates.then, suddenly, i felt like as if someone's grobing my a**..aiyoo.chilakas.not only that, he finished it off with a "submission" move that is a pinch.tak blei angkot oi.btw ah..2 guys pinched my a**..and they even said " i tink ah ure a** is nice to be pinched"..it set the whole class roaring into laughter..aduu..betol ah korang..their identities are to be kept confidential..o0o.message to ad and yuniza : please have manyak manyak mercy on me..you two definitely dont want to pinch me.pick someone your own size.haha.im just a little boy.please..pinch zee on my behalf..hehe

today's maths test was a killer.i was like sweating in an air-conditioned room.practically almost all the questions seemed to be like an "abstract art".it's the first time in my poly life, that i'm so sure that im going to fail the maths paper.normally, i would probably feel so rejuvenated after doing maths..but not this time..aiyoo.worst.maths is my favourite subject.hais.so i guess there goes my chance of entering into industrial chemistry option.but it's aight. im cool with it.i can settle with second best.polymer CIE

dang.ks.gtg.need to study microbio.please God..help me out.peace.

[ to tell or not to tell.it's just a matter of time ]

the equation of life

when friendship evolves into something deeper

always having the urge of confessing to her

waiting for the perfect time

procrastinating, you are

the unknown is where you shall remain

smile as the silver lining move across the dark clouds

hoping to be strucked by the love lightning

but when hope seems to fade away

that's when world comes crumbling down, detereorating

bed of roses

bed of razors

what difference does it make

when pain is the only thing you can swollow

in the equation of life

death is the only constant

love is a variable

hopes are always broken

the smiley facade that i wear

concealing the suffering that ive to bear

this door of confession, im about to close

this feelings shall remain unexposed

silat.bio.maths.friends turn lovers ?

silat camp (day 1) : they said supposedly to be a fun camp..but its so bloody "fun" till i got my thighs so bloody strained and a few cuts on both of my arms. but i guess it was all worth it. iwas kinda proud of myself.to be exact, i did like 540 push ups, 50 sit ups and 5 clicks of jogging,200 squartings throughout the whole day.talking bout silat, i had a test at round 7 pm yesterday. so, it was based on power, speed, tecnique and lastly, sparring.as usual, my technique would pull me down.i scored bloody low for my kicking.hais.i taught they wanted tonjang cause thats the only kick im good at.but crap.they only test on sabet.bad choice.hais.but i kinda like the sparring test.kinda confidence booster for me after been mentally and physically tortured during last wk's training. ah.i manage to banteng my opponent whose apparently slightly smaller size than me but with loads of experience.i also managed to counter his banteng for 5 times.phhhewww.trust me, in silat, never ever assume people with frail body structure and with nerdy appearance are the weakest link.you simply don't know what they are capable of.

my dad always told me.practically almost every good pesilat would have gone through a very very bad patch in the early stage.its matter of you're willing to swollow the deflated ego(humilation) and "purge" it out like a man by taking a slice of humble pie. a good pesilat will never let his emotions and ego overshadow his rational thinking.my mum will keep on reminding me bout this saying," dalam dunia ini tiade sesiapa lebei berkuasa daripada Allah s.w.t dan kamu tidak harus tak berasa takot menghadapi manusia lain kerana mereka juga ciptaan-nya"

silat camp (day 2) : which is today.but i intended to attend to training.but considering the fact that i have micro bio that need to be completed by tonight and maths tests coming up this coming tues, so might as well, i just skipped my training.sorry ah ryza.

so i was reading amir's blog.very well written by amir and haseena.kudos to them.really.their command of english were simply flawless.kk.what amir wrote is kinda true.good friends do fall for each other.yups.sometimes, people just don't wish to tell because its either they are never up to their friend's expectations or its just that they're too afraid to lose that friend.o0o well,ape nak buat.cobaan.

hmm.ks.gtg.need to finish up my bio report and practise but ass kicking maths.i'll see u guys when the time comes.insyaAllah.

[ to tell or not to tell. it's just a matter of time ]

yat's pics

smile.

when catastrophe meets beauties

roses are red.

ain't no sunshine when she's gone

ain't no sunshine

Ain't no sunshine when she's gone

It's not warm when she's away

Ain't no sunshine when she's gone

She's gone much too long

Any time she goes away

Ain't no sunshine when she's gone

Wonder if she's gone to stay

Ain't no sunshine when she's gone

And this house just ain't no home

Anytime she goes away

I knowShe's gone to stay

It's breakin' me up

Anytime she goes away

Gotta leave the young thing alone

There ain't no sunshine when she's gone

Ain't no sunshine when she's gone

It's not warm when she's away

Ain't no sunshine when she's gone

And she's gone much too long

Any time she goes away

Ain't no sunshine when she's gone

I wonder if she's gone to stay

There ain't no sunshine when she's gone

And this house just ain't a home

Any time she goes away

I knowShe's gone to stay

It's breaking me up

Any time she goes away

Gotta leave the young thing alone

There ain't no sunshine when she's gone
Ain't no sunshine when she's gone

I wonder if she's gone to stay

Ain't no sunshine when she's gone

And this house just ain't no home

Any time she goes away

Any time she goes away

indeed, my all time favourite.aint no sunshine by bill withers.so people.enjoy the lyrics.

[ to tell or not to tell.it's just a matter of time ]

being angry will only destroy yourself

o0owell, here i am again.revealing all my daily life issues.hais.subhanallah.i just dont know how to begin.hmm..kks.i got plenty to say to u noe u noe..but i just don't the guts to do so.i got alot of things to confess but its just that..my mouth is too heavy and unfortunately, i just have to keep it to myself.i couldn't find the courage to do so.this is so not me.okies.nvm.

lately, i ve been getting smiles from ladies( nurses and minahs..nurses i dont mind..if minah..somethink is really wrong) especially in the mrt and the bus.okies.my mum always say to me,when someone smile at you,be polite and always smile back.okies.for my case, i think its better not to smile back.so this is how the story began.was inside the mrt heading to..hmm..wait...cant really remember when was i heading to..so got this hot,chinese nurse.o0oya.btw the mrt was packed.she gave me a smile.so i returned her a smile.bad move,hidayat.the boyfriend was not happy.so, he came up to me and say.."hey tak puas hati ape.penakot ape taknak gado"..i was..hmmm...i just gave him a smile back and inside my heart, i was istigfar-ing.he asked me to drop at the next station and he wanted to pick up a fight with me.so this is what i said,"i may be a wimp but i'm not stupid like you to fight over a small matter"

i mean c'mon.it's not like as if im going after his gf.yea.so pls..i got other better things to do.astagfirlullah..i think ah people these days are too sensitive la.hais..sedei sedei.i really think that guy need to attend some anger management class ah.that incident ah really tallies with this saying that i came across in school,"being angry will only destroy yourself"

okies.gtg.time to "study" io chemistry.aight.take care people.peace.

[ to tell or not to tell.it's just a matter of time ]

al - quran.

okies..2 days ago..its the first time i read the tahlil since like only-God-knows-when.then i read the ayat kerusi.i read it over and over again.(dengan penuh khusyuk dan menghayati).my goodness.its the first time in my whole life i felt so protected and happy.its like as if someone's watching over me and protecting me from any harm.my goodness.tears rolled and i say,"alhamdullilah"...ks..guess i now addicted reading to kitab..most prob..insyaAllah ill be starting on the Al-quran soon.

so what im trying to say here, my muslim friends, al-quran is your best friend in life and treat it well.read it often and may you be blessed with love from good Lord.InsyaAllah

kk.this is a short entry.trust me.im feeling so overjoyed right now.

[ to tell or not to tell.it's just a matter of time ]

bangla..hais..

ks.2nd entry of the day, man...i didn't how much my limbs meant to me.always take them for granted.i didn't realize pulling up my pants can be so bloody painful.o0oya.last night's prayers..i almost cried..the pain was like...walwahuallam wisawab..only God knows la.my thighs were so damn strained and my index finger..when it was straighthen out, i wished i had something to bite on to while i was praying..hmmm..really..

just now in class.haha.again.my classmates kept teasing me..haha..just because i cant walk and write properly.whenever i hold my pencil, my hand starts to shake.aiyo.o0oya..today was damn funny la.i just got to know something.i forgot to zip my pants until i went into the gents.haha..aiyo..for those who actually spot my coffee shop eh..rezeki korang ah.haha..bukan slalu dapat tgk boxer orang..ni mesti kalau amir bace..compem suke..da blei nampak dier senyom pon..=]

these days i've been getting weird friend request in friendster.very very weird.samadikumar la..wunjikwunjikwawa la...aduuu...tak blei angkot..haha..i think must be those sesat tamil tigers ah..o0oya.i forgot to mention..during hari raya haji,after sending wanee home, i took the mrt.so, got this bangla sat beside me.througout the whole journey, he just looked at me and gave me that kind of "look".aiyo.i was so bloody scared la.worst still, he stop the same place as me.he was trailing me.then, i walked faster and finally i lost him.its really creepy la.if im a girl, maybe i can understand why..for goodness sake..im a man ?..kk..boy.you have that "thing"..i have that "thing"..what do you want from me...arrrgggghhh !!!!... i think this world suda terbalek..kk.enough said.really need to chow.need to pee..kk..toodles..

in the brink of death, you will learn to live

Yesterday, I had the worst silat training ever. It doesnt affect the others except me.aiyo.really.if u guys were in my position yesterday, you guys would probably be dead. Really. From that itself, I escape with a bruised ribcage, swollen right hand, tweety bird got kicked, cuts all over my right foot.damn it la. O0oya.i even got a cut on my right side of the chest.dang.thanks to the bloody vest la.

Okies.this is how the whole disaster came about.as usual, after GEMS, will 'study' at library then go for training.in the beginning, it was normal.just the boring regime.5bx and yada yada yada..okies..after the kicking of paddings, we all go straight to the fighting mat.here is when the whole 'fun' began.

Kharil(vice captain) : sape nak spar dulu ? ( who wants to spar 1st )

Me n ryza : kk..kite spar dulu..

Okies..sparring with him was kinda ok.evenly contested match.it onli lasted for 3 min.so, 30 min, apai(captain), he wanted to see me spar. So he picked an opponent for me.and unfortunately for me, he's a senior with loads of experience.loads of it.he knows loads of dirty tricks.n damn it la.i fall for most of them.normally, in silat, there will be 3 rounds and each round is bout 3 min.for this case, its different. One round, lasted for 10 min.and I had to spar with this senior for two rounds.by the end of two rounds, I was really ¾ dead.taught I could sit down and let others spar.but no…apai say..stay..next…damn it !!!....spar with him for 15 min.by the end of the whole disaster, I can swear to God, I couldnt feel my right arm.

But during the sparring session, got one point of time I gain momentum.i kept on punching khairil.i dont how I did it.but it felt good.but before I gained that momentum, 3 things came to my mind.

1 ) God
2 ) this saying.never ever let emotions overshadow my rational thinking
3 ) o0owell…its for me to know and for you to find out.lalala

Then I smiled .alhamdulilah.it worked.but for a short time.so, I guess that session taught me something, everytime before a match, always remember those 3 things. Not only that, Ive created this saying..in the brink of death, you will learn to live..

[ to tell or not to tell.it's just a matter of time ]

hari raya haji

So here I am after been absent from blogging for 4 days. Excruciating for me( lagi2 com da down).so people, be grateful of what you have right now. For me, com down.internet pon down.chilakas. I tell you, if u don’t appreciate your com ah, aiyo..

Recap on ytd's event(hari raya haji) : ytd was awesome la.morning prayers with that abang kepet, amir.that zee, call nye call nye call..never pick.there are only two possibilities for him not picking up the phone.1stly, he was busy jumping around in lala land. 2nd( amir nye prediction), he was takbir-ing at his own bed.haha.amir amir.dasa nak kene sula ngan si zee.

So after prayers, it was drizzling. a blessing but still…I got my bottom part of my kurong pants soaked with muddy water.aduuu..sedei sedei. Amir intended to stay for the korban thingy but crap la.the sight of blood ah makes me puke ah.worst ah.faint.if I faint, who’se gonna carry this 70 kg-incredible hulk-with-a soft heart.haha. The irony is when I grow up, Im inspired to become a plastic surgeon.haha.aduuu..pengsan loorr

Wanee, amir n azlina came to my place.unfortunately, zee couldn’t make it. he said he need to visit his grandpa.okies.your're forgiven,zee.so basically, those three lovely monkeys of mine, they just talk and talk while me, busy preparing the table. Talking bout preparations, I just hate it when I clean the entire house, and just before guests reached my place, its already in a mess..wa..really you noe.damn heart ache la.i tried so hard getting rid of those phunky smell and stains.bukan senang sei.some more, my house is like 17 yrs old ?..puuurr

After the late lunch, we all just hang out in my room.play the guitar.i don't know whether those three got listen to me strumming 2 chords.hmmm..okies nvm.so the whole afternoon, it “belong” to amir. Just wont stop his self-praising.tak blei angkot sei.haha.then we watched the hot chick screened on channel 5. o0oya..before that..we talked bout “3 things we want to change bout ourselves”..hmm…3 things ah

1 ) I want my sec 2 figure back !!
2 ) I want a beautiful skin
3 ) Be more hardworking

So we watched hot chick till 8 30..coz wanee had to leave early. So everyone chow. And that’s it..yg lain2 details.aiya.u noe I noe.can oledy.

Ps.wanee and azlina.u sure u wanna pimp my room? Haha..i don’t mind.if u guys really into it, tell me..i go get all de necessary stuffs.hmmm..

Hmm…ooya wanee..i think I oledy noe whats de diff between home and a house.yea yea..what u said is true.yups.its not bout the house..but the home..very very true.kk people..gtg..chows..tym for silat, babe…

[ to tell or not to tell.it's just a matter of time ]

okies.life without internet can be hell.life without computer..wa chilakas.im really suffering right now.no computer.currently down with virus. i think the state of my com right now is really pain in the ass, man..dang.do nothing ah except tangkap abok aje. i cant even do my research, reports, homework.damn it la.i have to depend on school com labs or cyber cafe.wa.manyak2 duit gone lorr.

just got to know that singnet is having a promotion and its giving out laptops but under one condition.must sign up for this contract that last for 3 years. kinda reasonable.affordable.yea.ape lagi.cekop la.haha.man.

my eyes hurts la right now.damn it.stare at this bloody huge moniter(btw, writing this at some ulu cyber cafe..the smell aiyoo..sibei tak blei tahan) can make my eyes' degree shoot up from 90 to 200 sei.haha.chicken.its glaring la.fuu.

okies.so i read wanee's blog bout a BGR issue regarding some mental abuse.very interesting. like what my sister loves to say," love is like a jug of milk.mild and sweet in the beginning.sour and bad in the latter stages"..well, i can only agree to a certain extent.

okies.got nothing much to say already.need to chow.shall end my entry with thi saying" the physical things does not define what's within."

[to tell or not to tell.it's just a matter of time]

there's such a thing like trying too hard

So today I did nothing. I was busy not paying attention in class.haha. Yakking all the way with my makan buddies, syam and ryza. Practically, we did nothing much la today. I dont think theres any homework except one formal microbio report, IDEAS presentation to complete and GEMS stuff ( its bout famous Australians and their lingo.people.plss.if u have the time,help me out.im really struggling in this). Yups. My lecturers don’t consider these as homework.

I must say im kinda proud of myself. 6 note within 30 min. 2 chords within 15 min. quite an achievement for me. All thanks to my “maestro”(unfortunately.haha), syaiful aka syam. He taught me well, indeed. If you guys wanna ask me why suddenly I picked up guitar. Its just that my whole family are musically and academically inclined except for me. Practically every single one can play at least two instruments except for me. So I was wondering, if music really runs in the blood, might as well, I just give it a try. Yups. Like what I’ve mentioned in my previous post, life is too short. Make the best out of it. I hope my enthusiasm is not short-lived.

In life, when you say you got no time for some commitment, no time is the perfect time. When you put your mind, heart and soul to something, it will eventually work. it maybe time consuming but just put time aside. You can accomplish it before you realising it.aight.gtg. time for table tennis session with my classmates.chow.

words of wisdon : there's such a thing like trying too hard

slice of life

People this days are getting too emo. Haha. Look who's talking. People got dumped. They cry. People got rejected. They also cry. I'm not making fun of this group of people ( eh eh .names not mentioned. Don't wish to mention. Don't wish to carik pasal. peace ) but it's just that I find it a bit ridiculous? Maybe, I learnt a lot from those experiences that i went through in the past. I know how it feels like to be in your shoes. Just take it like this. Life is too short to brood over things like this. Yups. My good friend, wanee, once told me there are a lot of things in life that you can grab by the horns. I repeat myself again. Life is too short for heartaches. So make the best out of it!!

Ok. Another scenario. If that bloody one fine day of yours turned out to be the most, catastrophic day of your life and you feel like committing suicide. You feel like as if there's no end to your misery. And you keep asking yourself why it must happen to you. I swear to God you will never find the answer. And it will drive you nuts!! But instead, ask yourself, what can extract and learn from that experience. Will you be stronger in future? Will you be wiser in future? Well, walwahuallam. Life is in your hands. By the way, life is like a gift. God gives you that life for a reason. because He loves you. He cares for you. Don't lose it just like that because you won't be getting it back.

I shall end my story with a saying. "Happiness doesn't occur without the presence of catastrophes. It happens in spite of catastrophes."

my new year's wish

My New Year's Wish

Whatever resolutions

or changes you would like to make

Whatever new directions

or paths you'd like to take

May good Lord bless your future endevours

and guide you to success

and fill the coming year with all

that brings you happiness

Time flies so quickly

years come rushing fast

enjoy the remains while you are still living in it

these happy days will soon last

Indulge in every new day

with zest and love to share

realizing that tomorrow

brings peaceful love for you to wear

All these years i've been through with you ( my friends)

together with joy, happiness and the blues

finally im going to leave my harsh reality and turn over a new leaf

for this very year

going on a battle to retaliate my fear

this rhyme i wrote is hard for me to swollow

the boulder on my shoulder is getting heavier

please don't follow

take care my dear loved ones

just go with the flow

allow me to take my leave

as it's time for me to pack and go

*ps. i really mean it. i think it's bout time i should grow up a little.i cant afford to create any heart aches to people whom i care alot..i'm changing.at least, im trying.aight.take care,people.please do forgive me for what i've done( intentionally or unintentionally)..peace.much love.